Before we get too far down the rabbit hole today – let me just be clear, I don’t have a mental illness, there aren’t real voices in my head. Instead I want to talk about the internal struggles of late that we all probably go through at some point or another. I touched on some of this in Monday’s post (130715) but I think I might’ve over sold my acceptance of the events of Monday. There’s still a part of me that’s frustrated, questioning, doubtful, and all around displeased. Frustrated because on the list of things to be doing correctly, I’m checking all of the boxes and still floundering, still not moving very well, not beyond my mobility issues, and even slipping backwards a little. Questioning, because steps I’ve made and seen as solutions to problems, hiring a coach, working with a PT regularly, all seem like things that would leave me with fewer questions – not more. And finally doubtful, because of the opportunity cost of it all – the time, the money, the effort, spent on anything else would undoubtedly lead to success and happiness. If ever I needed a slap across the face, a splash of cold water, a good talking to, it would be now.
Not to get melodramatic, but some things are starting to make a lot more sense when you are getting the shit kicked out of you.
Power Snatch 2 @ 60%, 2 @ 65%, 2 @ 70%, 1 @ 75%, 2 @ 70%
120, 130, 140, 150, 140
Front Squat 2RM; 4 x 2 @ 90% of 2RM
Accumulate 2 min of chin over bar hang
:30 :30 :30 :15 :15
rest 5 min
Accumulate 3 min Arch Body Hold
1:00, 1:00, :45, :15
20 Hip Circles
rest 5 min
Row 30:30 (work:rest) x 14 sets, record calories per set
15, 15, 14, 14, 14, 14, 13, 13, 13, 12, 14, 11, 11, 14
Training-wise, I think my mental state took it’s toll, but whatever high I’ve been riding since last cycle is definitely gone, and in it’s wake I’ve been spinning my wheels trying to find traction somewhere. Power snatching was fine, the weight was light, I moved it well, no big issue there. Front squatting was not fantastic as I am still toiling with my new nemesis the front rack. As soon as my hips get close to parallel my upper back goes soft. I don’t feel it. Is it a mobility thing? A motor control thing? A weakness? I really don’t know. I need to spend some time figuring out what a good front squat feels like – and then spend some time replicating it, perhaps backing off weight for awhile to try and sort this. This will definitely come up at my monthly Skype call with Mike – huge issue on my mind.
I didn’t realize how much the chin over bar hand and the arch body holds really took from me. Yesterday we changed it up and did those two before my conditioning. I felt fine starting, until I really tried to row hard, and my pull was gone, my arms, my upper back, really my whole back, was just nonexistent. On a good day, fresh, pulling hard on a rower I can hit somewhere between 2200-2400cal/hr, yesterday, not fresh, I struggled to hit 2000, and fell off to 1800 pretty quickly. Just a big mess. When you know you’re capable of hitting 16 calories in 30 seconds, and can’t hold onto 14, it might be fine, but it feels like failure. My mental armor is full of chinks – it doesn’t need more abuse – now things I’m good at, I’m bad at.
At least I still have Final Cut Pro. Enjoy. Sorry for the rant today.